The Good Life

Puerto Rico here I come. I sit here drinking my coffee Americano  (that’s how you order a normal coffee on a European ship based on an Italian theme) and when it is finished I will step off the boat and take the only excursion I booked for the entire trip. It will mold my three favorite things, walking, coffee and taking a lot of pictures of local stuffs. It is a historic coffee tour of San Juan which will take you throughout the cobblestone streets and take you to many a historical site, statue and of course coffee house. I will learn the perfect café leche from barristas who make art with their cups. Both drawn in milk and made by hand. I have been looking forward to this for several months. I look forward to taking hundreds of pictures without anyone being humiliated by it as well.

Needless to say I love taking pictures and I love coffee. I’m sure I made that clear but the added bonus of a walk in the sun makes it perfect. To describe that picture above a little better, the hole on that cup is too small for any of my fingers, but it is strong coffee. It’s an Americano because of the way it is served but it is still an Italian roast (espresso beans) brewed like normal coffee American style. That square chocolate  mint is supposed to be dropped in and stirred into the coffee, but I prefer to just eat it when I am done. Tomorrow or tonight who knows, I should have plenty to say about Puerto Rican coffee so stay tuned.

I have settled into being alone. I mind it a hell of a lot less than my history of being in love with love would portray. I have enjoyed being flirted with this entire cruise, and I have to admit that I have enjoyed the whole “not following up on it” attitude that I have acquired. I am after all a married man, despite what it may appear these days, and should anything go astray which it seems to weekly, I really enjoy my own company. I enjoy walking around in circles watching people, and I enjoy just laying in my adjustable bed watching Netflix alone. Scary thought but I am starting to not need anybody and perhaps it is the catalyst to not hating people as much as I have in the past. I need, I accept, I feel guilty, I feel trapped, I feel angry. I don’t need shit right now and I like it.

This isn’t to say that human interaction isn’t nice, but I have that. I go to work and I interact. I go to the assisted living facility my father is in and I interact. Hell there are more people I am not related to that look forward to seeing me there. Why not? I’m a nice person, even to that Yankees fan that lives there, but of course that is after the Red Sox won a few. The fact of the matter is there is a difference between being a human doing and a human being. As a human doing that’s all I ever did. I was doing and not being, and being is what levels me out. I just wish I had figured that out 20 years ago, but better late than never.